


Because It's Eliot

by HobbitSpaceCase



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Angst, Episode: s04e06 A Timeline and Place, I haven't seen anything about episode 7 yet, Just a short little thing based on 4.06, M/M, Quentin loves Eliot, Woops, about Eliot, hopefully its still canon enough, meant to get this out yesterday, quentin's thought process when the Monster asks him why he cares so much, that's why
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-13 10:35:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18030104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HobbitSpaceCase/pseuds/HobbitSpaceCase
Summary: Why does Quentin care so much about Eliot?  Because he does.





	Because It's Eliot

“Eliot, Eliot, Eliot,” the Monster mutters. He stalks towards Quentin, Eliot’s body stiff and controlled in a way that Eliot never was. Never _is_. The Monster’s eyes are blazing, not a trace of Eliot in their golden depths, but Quentin doesn’t waver. “Why do you care so much about him?”

Too many words rise up in Quentin’s throat, choking him. Why does he care so much about Eliot? How is he supposed to explain all that to a Monster?

“We had a life together,” he doesn’t say. The “we” sits heavy on his tongue, an echo of Eliot what feels so long ago, so much meaning in such a brief sound. “We raised a child together,” he doesn’t continue, “had grandchildren and a life together. And when we were old and gray I saw him die, and discovered the beauty of all life was in living it together with someone else. I buried him in my garden with my own hands and watched the flowers grow over his grave until my own eyes dimmed and the breath left my body. Our bones may still lie side by side in Fillory, but this Eliot is not dead yet.”

“I love him,” he also does not say. He does not speak the memories that lodge in his throat like shards of glass, but he vibrates with the truth of them. “I love him, and he rejected me, and now I know he’s never forgotten that day either. He kindled something warm inside of my hollow, aching chest, and how can I not love the one who thaws the ice that grows inside me? Even if doesn’t love me the same way I love him,” he does not say, “he still loves me, and I’ll never leave him.”

“Because he never left me,” doesn’t make it through clenched teeth. “Because he saved my life so many times, times he didn’t even know he was saving me. From Brakebills to bad dreams to Fillory to here, he has saved me over and over. Even when he died, I got him back. Even when we were parted, he always came back to me in the end. That warmth that he kindled inside me to drive away the cold is not dead. It has become a wildfire spreading through my veins and now that I know that he is alive, I will burn the world down before I let you hurt him.”

“Because I do,” he says. The words are heavy, full of all the things he has not said, cannot say, not to this Monster with Eliot’s eyes and Julia struck still with fear beside him.

He says more, but those words are less important than the truth ringing like a gong beneath his breast with every beat of his heart. He doesn’t care that he has stripped himself bare to Julia, their silent spectator, as he rips down the walls around his soul. He barely registers her gasp as he fits his neck between the Monster’s long, familiar fingers. The Monster doesn’t understand. It cannot possibly hear or comprehend the things that Quentin has not said, even though they shine from every fiber of his being for Julia to see as clear as day.

The Monster’s eyes, Eliot’s eyes, are dark with confusion, but it finally drops Eliot’s hands from Quentin’s neck. “Fine,” the Monster says, even as Quentin almost misses Eliot’s touch warm against his skin, no matter who’s pulling the strings. “I’ll take better care of the meatsuit.” Its words are drawn out unwillingly, Eliot’s mouth pulled down in a sullen pout. “But you don’t have to be such a baby about it.”

Quentin’s heart aches and his lungs feel crushed beneath the weight of the Monster in Eliot’s body. It speaks with Eliot’s voice, touches him with Eliot’s hands, watches him with Eliot’s eyes, and Quentin almost doesn’t know how he’s still standing. But there is a bonfire in his blood and hope in his tired heart, and he does not back down. He _will_ get Eliot back.

After all, he always does.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I have to be honest. I hated season 1 Quentin. I actually gave up on the show for the longest time after a few things I really disliked about season 1, but this new Quentin/Eliot being canon thing is sucking me back in in spite of that. It seems that Quentin has grown as a person in spite of my expectations, low as they were from too many disappointing whiny straight white guys on tv, and I always did love Eliot. I still haven't fully caught up on everything I missed, but hopefully this little piece that wouldn't leave me alone doesn't have any glaring deviations from canon I haven't yet seen.


End file.
